are you still at the devil's house?
I just pynch a tree in the face
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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