I wannas sexs uuuuu
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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