I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize