life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
