Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
