Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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