bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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