Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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