Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
