I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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