Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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