I'm so fucking centered right now
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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