Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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