There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
