Your face is a jimmy john
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
