You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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