And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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