i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
