The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I love you. Go after that dick
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
