i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
