I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize