I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
