I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
vagina is talking i cant
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
