Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I will die if light touches me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
