Small penises have feelings too.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
