We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
