like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
