problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
