If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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