I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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