I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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