We won't sleep together?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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