So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
