I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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