either way he was missing a nipple.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
