Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
