What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
