I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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