So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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