I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
