But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
