that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
