Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
