my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
