Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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