I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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