You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize