she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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