she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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