Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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