They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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