I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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