btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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