You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
false alarm. still invincible.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
