ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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