shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
