You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize