is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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